Choices I Have Made
by Nightshade's sydneylover150
Summary: Dumbledore once said everything we do is based on our choices…


Author: Nightshade sydneylover150

Title: Choices I have Made

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't pretend to own.

Rating: T for Teen

Summary: Dumbledore once said everything we do is based on our choices…

A/N: I wanted to try something new, let me know how it turned out. Also this piece of fiction can be read as either gen or slash; it is up to the reader. I purposely made it ambiguous.

Also this piece has some dark tones due to being based off of an old Robin Williams movie; can you guess which one?

HP/SS/HP/SS

"Leave me alone Potter."

"Severus, this is what is best for you! Why will you not listen to me?"

"Why would I want to listen to you, Potter? What could possibly make you think that I would want to be anywhere near you? I've paid my debt two fold and yet your friends and you continue to believe I owe you more!"

"It is nothing like that Severus! Why can you not accept that I want you in my life?"

"Potter I want nothing to do with you. Is that too difficult for you to understand? Do you believe that just because are you sycophants everywhere that I want to be one too? Do you not realize your very presence disgusts me?!"

"Severus, we could be happy! We could be a family!"

"Leave me be Potter. I do not want or need anything from you but to never have your shadow darken my door."

SS/HP/SS/HP

"That was cruel of you Severus. He so dearly wants to be with you."

"Minerva, despite my constant speeches and explanations I have given you, I find that you have not heard a word I have said. I want nothing to do with him."

"Why are you so willing to give up something that could be so good for you?"

"Perhaps it is time for you to realize cat that I have no desire to be told what is good for me. I have done the bidding of two masters; I will not add a mistress to that list."

"Severus why do you not realize that you could have peace with Harry. You could have a real relationship!"

"He is a Potter. He may have Lily's spirit, but he is a Potter. I want nor need anything from him but an oath to stay away from me for the rest of my life.'

"Do you not realize what you are saying Severus?! You are throwing away something so pure…. "

"There is nothing pure here Minerva. Cease attempting to fetter me in your chains or Potters. I have made my choices and I know my wants. Leave me be."

"Curse you Severus. How dare you throw away love! How dare you!"

"Love, Minerva? What love? Potter only knows his own selfish desires. That is not love."

"You are so blind Severus."

"I doubt that Minerva. But even on the chance that you were to be right, I am happier making my own choices."

"Why would you possibly want to choose to be a lone? Why are you so desperate to turn away from someone who loves you? A person who wants you as part of his family?"

"Why are you so insistent on believing that it is love? It is merely Potter's desire for something I refuse to give. I am no one's slave any more Cat. I refuse to bow to Potter's desires as the rest of you are so inclined to do. I would rather die than spend a moment in his tender mercy."

"Severus, how can you do this to Harry? How can you do this to yourself?"

"I am doing what I want for a change Minerva."

"You are doing something wrong! Why will you not open your eyes and realize he is not his father?"

"Why will you not open yours and realize that I care not whether he is or is not like his father. It matters not if he is like his mother. I am not so undiscerning that I would attach myself to the closest thing to my love."

SS/HP/SS/HP

"I find you worthy and you run! Why must you run Severus?"

"I want nothing to do with you Potter, why is that so difficult for you to understand? Why can you not get it through your thick skull that I have no desire for your friendship or your love."

"Why do you continue to believe that you are not worth it? Why must you keep running away from the people who love you most?"

"You are delusional Potter, there is no one here that loves me. Why would you ever believe any of that dribble that you are spewing at me? Do you not think that I cannot see the truth? Do you believe that I would care so little for myself that I would allow myself to be tricked by your lies?"

"You are delusional Severus! I want you to be happy! Why can't you allow yourself to realize that we could be happy!"

"There is no happiness to be found with you Potter. All you are to me is an annoying gnat. A mosquito who believes he is among the grander scheme of things. In reality Potter, you are nothing…. Especially to me."

HP/SS/HP/SS

"He died alone."

"That's how he wanted it mate. Nothing you could have done."

"I don't understand why he would choose this."

"Mate, I don't think anyone would."

"How could he not see how much I loved him?"

"Harry, he was too blinded by hate. As much as he loved your mother, in the end the hate was stronger."

"He didn't just hate me did he? He hated himself."

"Rightly so mate, look at all the bad decisions he made. Really, you heard McGonagall. The man had the chance to be a Gryffindor and he turned it down. He could have been saved, but all he did was hide in the snake pit."

"Ronald! That is the thinking that got the wizarding world into the mess in which it was in the first time."

"Really Mione, it's true! The snakes are evil. The entire house needs to be eliminated. Can't you see the pain its causing Harry? Just because the git was too blind to see that he was loved."

"He was sick Ronald…"

"Of course he was, any snake is."

"Not what I meant Ron. He was depressed. Probably had faced it all alone for years without any hope. I read somewhere the depression is like a cancer of the mind. It eats away at all your happiness and replaces it with loneliness until you believe every word it has to say."

"Meaning what Mione?"

"You were right the first time Harry, it means he hated himself. How could he allow himself to care or be open to another person when he could not even face himself?"

HP/SS/HP/SS

"Severus! You are here!"

"Severus? Severus?!"

"Stop Harry."

"Mum? Why isn't he responding to me?"

"Harry… He can't respond to you."

"What do you mean Mum? Of course he should be able to talk to me! We're dead, he's free."

"Severus has never been free Harry. I doubt he ever will be."

"Mum, how can you say that?"

"It's true Harry, Snivellous is stuck exactly where he belongs."

"Don't call him that Sirius! Mum, what is wrong with Severus!?"

"He is in hell, Harry."

"What? He can't be! He sacrificed everything!"

"He turned down everything precious he could have ever gained each and every time. Of course he would be in hell Harry!"

"No, I don't believe it. He was… is a hero."

"Snivellous always deserved to be in hell. He is a nasty snake isn't he?"

"Sirius, you are not helping matters."

"James, just tell the kid the truth. The little Snake deserves to be in hell for not seeing what was in front of him."

"It is nothing like that! Harry…. Severus is in a hell of his own making."

"How can that be? Why after all he has been through is he in hell?"

"Because he cannot see what he has done, luv. All he sees is his pain and the pain he has caused."

"It is best you just continue to live on Harry. Forget Severus. Move forward and enjoy the love that you have around you. You have us now. We are your family. We will always love you."

"But…"

"It is for the best Harry."

SS/HP/SS/HP

"You will always be alone Severus. You know that. You will always be alone."

The End

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